10 Specific Compliments to Give Your Children | All Pro Dad.
Fact is, children look to their parents for encouragement, and finding affirmation at home is foundational to positive emotional development. Parents need to be in the business of building our children up. But we also need to be honest, and it’s important to use compliments that really mean something. Kids can sense disingenuousness and empty praise. Making stuff up is harmful; false praise is dishonest and the practice breaks trust.
Here are 10 compliments all kids need to hear:
- Recognize and compliment character:
We live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness, trustworthiness and reliability, that’s a great time to take them aside and offer a sincere compliment.
- Compliment obedience and respect:
It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks) try noticing obedience and respect: “I don’t always remember to tell you, but you are an awesome young man, and I appreciate the way you treat your mother”.
- Appreciate them for simply being part of the family:
“Every time I see you, I’m thankful that I’m a dad.” Kids need to understand that they are valued simply because they are.
- Compliment contributions to the family:
“Clearing the table (sweeping the porch… putting out the trash) makes a real difference. I appreciate your contribution.” Kids need to understand that what they do makes a difference, that the adults notice, and that pitching in is a good part of family life.
- Compliment the quality of a child’s work:
“This is one clean porch, mister!” “You mowed the lawn right up to the edge. Way to go! I’m so glad you take this job so seriously, it shows.” Doing a job at a high standard is always worth noting.
- We can compliment the effort, even when the result is not the best:
“Your willingness to help makes me happy! Now we need to take a look at how you can get the trash to the curb without leaving a trail!” Compliments can be an important part of our role as teachers.
- It’s important that we compliment children when they achieve something new:
“Wow! That’s a huge leap forward for you there in math, pal.” “Awesome! I’m not at all surprised after you worked so hard.” A well-placed compliment can keep a positive ball rolling.
- We can compliment sense of style even if we don’t exactly share their taste:
We don’t want to hedge kids into being clones of dad, or mom. “When it comes to putting together an outfit, you certainly have some flair!” “I can tell that you put a lot of thought into the way you look.” “I’ve never seen a table set quite like that before – you have an amazing imagination!” It’s not useful to limit compliments to the narrow range of our own taste.
- Compliment steps toward a long-term goal:
“Son, the improvement you’re showing is commendable. Thanks for trying.” Waiting for perfection before we’re willing to dish out a compliment is inefficient, may dampen enthusiasm, and does little to help the process of growth.
- Try complimenting their friends:
But only do this when you can do it honestly! “Your friends are the greatest!” “That Jimmy is such a positive young man.” “You know, it gives me a lot of confidence to know you use common sense in choosing your friends.”
Categories: Family, John Personal, John's Rant (opinion), Lessons I've Learned as a Dad
Tags: Child, Family, Father, health, Home, Mothers, Parent, Stay at Home Fathers
I am now a Father and I’m learning everyday. It’s amazing how much I really don’t know. Here are some of the things I’ve learned about being a father:
- You don’t mind cleaning up your child’s “throw-up”. (I’ve always gotten sick from someone throwing up)
- When they are sick, you want them close to you. ( I used to run from sick people from a fear of catching it.)
- You’re their parent, not their friend, buddy, companion or partner. (They have many friends/buddies but only 2 parents. They need you to be in that role.)
- Discipline is a part of being a parent. (The old saying,”This is going to hurt me more than you.” is so true.)
- Telling them each day how much you love them.
- Hold them in your lap (At least until they are too big)
- Know who their friends are and who their friends parents are. (Aside from you, their friends will have the most influence on their lives.)
- Set boundaries for your children/teenagers. They won’t set them on their own, but you’re teaching them how to do this preparing them for tomorrow.
- Play the X-Box/football/baseball/sports with them and let them win (sometimes but losing on purpose all the time is a bad lesson in itself.) Go hiking, camping, fishing with the boys and shopping, dress up, and nails with your girls.
- Teach them to fail forward, persistence, courage, honor and committment.
- Introduce them and teach them to respect new cultures, people who are different, and other religions.
- Teach them Grace by your actions.
- Teach them the importance of money (checking account, saving, budgets, and investing) AND that money is NOT the most important thing and is NOT what makes them valuable.
- Show them how to be a husband (or what to look for in a husband) by the way you treat and love their Mom.
- Don’t spend all your time at work. Your employer of 20 years will forget you 1 week after you’re gone but your children will miss you for a lifetime.
- Teach them to tithe.
Categories: Family, Friends, John Personal, John's Rant (opinion), Lessons I've Learned as a Dad
Tags: Child, Christmas, Education, Family, Father, God, Home, Parent
It’s 2:15 in the morning and I am posting a blog because Graden (18 months) refuses to go to sleep. Lay him down and he screams so loud that I am convinced he is trying to wake up the other 5 people who live in this house. So, I’m sitting here watching Barney, thinking about a cup of coffee (and would I be able to sleep once G dozes off), and thinking about how much I love being a Dad. Let me share with you some reasons why:
- The screaming of Dada, Daddy, and ajodinelnse (That’s what G says) from my kids when I walk through the door after a long day of work.
- The way they hold onto you when they are sick.
- The belly laugh when you are tickling them.
- Their favorite place to sleep is on top of you.
- The privilege of teaching them the things they will need to know in life.
- Bath Time
- Nap Time
- Their little dances when a good song comes on.
- Sitting in my lap drinking their bottle.
- Falling asleep on my chest
- Hearing, “I love you”
- Holding my hand as we go on adventures
- Watching them bond together
- Seeing them worried about their sibling when their sick
- The joy on their face when they learn something new.