As the Father of two daughters, I have been giving a great deal of thought to what advice I’d like to give them about life, career, dating, and their education. Here are 15 words of wisdom from your Dad. I’m sure there will be more to follow…
- You are beautiful inside and out.
- Realize your self-worth before committing yourself to someone.
- Don’t reveal too much of yourself. Closely guard your secrets, dreams, ideas, affections and your body. There will be a day you want to share all of that with the person you marry. Don’t share it with the world. Remember, you’re special!
- You are a child of God and God loves you.
- Don’t date or marry someone who does not hold your values, morals and beliefs.
- If your date does not open the car door…stand there and don’t get in the car!
- Respect yourself and expect those you date to have respect for you also. If they don’t have that respect, they don’t deserve to be out with you.
- You will not be able to change him. Don’t date someone with the idea that you will be able to change the things in him you don’t like. It does not happen that way.
- Don’t get serious with a guy who would rather play a video game or hang out with a bunch of guys than spend time with you.
- Get your education and as much education as possible. Education provides choices in life and you want to have as many choices as you can. Education provides these choices.
- Be able to financially, emotionally and professionally support yourself fully before getting married. Having someone support you financially is not a reason to get married.
- Have goals and dreams. Write them down and look at them often. Create a roadmap to achieve these goals and dreams.
- Have Values and Morals. Write them down and make them nonnegotiable. What is that you believe and stand for? This will make your decision-making easier and prevent a great deal of heartache.
- You can’t feel good about yourself while living in sin.
- Keep a journal of your life, prayers, answered prayers, struggles, and successes.
- Don’t hesitate to walk away from someone/something that goes against who you are and the values and morals you hold.
- Be able to change your own tire.
- Know how to jump off a battery.
- Get involved in a church. Not just going on Sunday morning but giving of your time, efforts and finances.
- The sweetest sound to a person is the sound of their own name. Learn and remember names.
- Learn how to budget and live within your means.
- Credit Cards are of Satan (stay away from them!!)
- Don’t put all your personal stuff on Facebook. Remember, what goes online stays online FOREVER!
- The person you will be in 5 years will be greatly determined by the books you read, the TV/Movies you watch and most importantly the friends you hang out with.
- 10% of life is made up of what happens to you and the other 90% is how you respond to what happens to you.
- Change happens and is necessary for growth.
- Failure is not when you get knocked down but when you refuse to get back up.
- Attitude isn’t everything, but it is the one thing that can make a difference in your life.
- Give today your attention–not yesterday or tomorrow.
- You will always be Daddies Little Girl. Forgive me when I constantly remind you of things you already know, ask you to call when you get where you are going and when you’re on your way home, and the belief that I hold that there is no male who is good enough for you.
I am now a Father and I’m learning everyday. It’s amazing how much I really don’t know. Here are some of the things I’ve learned about being a father:
- You don’t mind cleaning up your child’s “throw-up”. (I’ve always gotten sick from someone throwing up)
- When they are sick, you want them close to you. ( I used to run from sick people from a fear of catching it.)
- You’re their parent, not their friend, buddy, companion or partner. (They have many friends/buddies but only 2 parents. They need you to be in that role.)
- Discipline is a part of being a parent. (The old saying,”This is going to hurt me more than you.” is so true.)
- Telling them each day how much you love them.
- Hold them in your lap (At least until they are too big)
- Know who their friends are and who their friends parents are. (Aside from you, their friends will have the most influence on their lives.)
- Set boundaries for your children/teenagers. They won’t set them on their own, but you’re teaching them how to do this preparing them for tomorrow.
- Play the X-Box/football/baseball/sports with them and let them win (sometimes but losing on purpose all the time is a bad lesson in itself.) Go hiking, camping, fishing with the boys and shopping, dress up, and nails with your girls.
- Teach them to fail forward, persistence, courage, honor and committment.
- Introduce them and teach them to respect new cultures, people who are different, and other religions.
- Teach them Grace by your actions.
- Teach them the importance of money (checking account, saving, budgets, and investing) AND that money is NOT the most important thing and is NOT what makes them valuable.
- Show them how to be a husband (or what to look for in a husband) by the way you treat and love their Mom.
- Don’t spend all your time at work. Your employer of 20 years will forget you 1 week after you’re gone but your children will miss you for a lifetime.
- Teach them to tithe.
Categories: Family, Friends, John Personal, John's Rant (opinion), Lessons I've Learned as a Dad
Tags: Child, Christmas, Education, Family, Father, God, Home, Parent
As a pastor, I have heard many people’s opinion on Connectional Giving (apportionments) within the United Methodist Church. (For those who are not UM, we are a “connectional” church, which means that all of our churches are connected under the banner of the District that the church resides in. The District is part of the Conference and the Conference is part of the General church.) The opinions have ranged from being unfair and to a tax on local churches. I believe that some of these opinions are formed due to not having an understanding about what Connectional giving actually entails.
As a pastor, I believe that ONE of the signs of spiritual maturity is giving of one’s resources (money, time, resources) to God. It is Biblical that as disciples we give at least 10% of our earnings back to God. Is this because God needs our money? NO! It’s because money can so easily become lord of our lives and God’s desire is to be first in our life, not our money. I believe Connectional Giving is one of the signs of spiritual maturity in the life of a church. It’s a way for us to give back to God a portion of the blessings He has given to us. That reason alone should be reason enough for all UM churches to strive for 100% connectional giving. However, I want to (over the next several weeks) share with my readers how what we give is used.
One of the ways that our givings are used is to fund the Ministerial Education Fund (MEF). The MEF is used to help people who are called to go into the pastoral ministry fund their seminary education. In my own career as a minister I can tell you that there would have been no way for me to go to seminary without MEF. Not only was I able to go, I was able to graduate with next to no student loans. Praise God and thanks to all the churches who paid their apportionments. I owe a great deal of my seminary education to them.