6 Ways to be a “Good” Husband

My Beautiful Bride

I have never met anyone like my wife, Jill.  Next to my relationship with Jesus, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.  I love her with all my heart and I want nothing but the best for her.  Wanting nothing but the best for her has made me look at myself and ask “How can I be a better husband?”  Here are some things I do…

  1. Tell her you love her and how much she means to you.  It’s amazing to me how many wives say their husband never tells them he loves them. Our wives need to hear us say that we love them and not only during those intimate moments.  When is the last time you called your wife in the middle of the day with nothing to say except, I love you.  Leave her love notes, send her flowers, tell her she is beautiful.
  2. Pray for you wife and with her.  Praying specifically for your wife and thanking God for her puts your wife in a special place in your heart.  It’s really hard to stay angry with someone you’re constantly praying for.  Also, pray with your wife.  The man is the spiritual leader in the home.  It’s the man’s responsibility to lead the spiritual formation of the family and it starts with prayer.
  3. Discover your wife’s love language.  Read the book, “The Five Love Languages“!  A love language is how one feels the most love.  I’m someone who feels love when someone does something for me.  When we first married I would mow the lawn and manicure it, then go in the house with my chest poked out and tell her to look at it.  I was trying to impress her.  She would look at it and say, “Good Job”  Or I would wash, wax, and clean out her car only to get a simple thank you.  After a marriage retreat, I found out that it was not the way to show Jill I love her.  Her love language is touch.  Spending time on the couch, holding her hand while watching TV is what she sees as love.   You won’t know how to show her your love if you don’t know what she needs.
  4. Learn More About Her.  People are constantly changing and no matter how long you’ve been married there are always new things to learn about her.  Do you know what kind of gum she prefers?  What’s her favorite color?  What are her dreams?
  5. Constantly look for ways you can be a better husband.  This may sound simple, but it is so important.  Always be growing as a husband.  It’s like being a Christian, seeking perfection in a broken world and trying to be more like Christ every day.
  6. Date your wife.  It’s so easy to fall into a “life” routine of going to work, coming home, changing babies, doing the dishes and going to bed.  A husband has to be intentional about asking his wife out on a date.  No kids, open the car door for her, bring her flowers, go someplace romantic over night. Get in the habit of this and ideally do it once a week.  If this is not possible, at least do it routinely.  It will strengthen your marriage.
Categories: Common Everyday Stuff, Family, Jill, John's Rant (opinion) | Leave a comment

Favorite Photos

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Categories: Erica, Family, Graden Cooper, Jackson, Jill, John Personal, Noah | Leave a comment

My Beautiful Bride

Here are some photos of the most beautiful person in the whole world.  The love of my life.

Categories: Jill, John Personal | Leave a comment

Our Anniversary

Today is year 4 that I have been married to the most wonderful and beautiful person in the world.  I’ve often wondered why Jill is so different.  How in the world have I fallen so much in love with her?  Over the last several days, I have been thinking about the reasons that I love her so much and this is what I’ve come up with:

  • The way she loves our children
  • The way she holds my hand
  • The way she rubs the back of my head when we’re driving down the road.
  • She knows what to say and when to say it.
  • She laughs at MOST of my jokes
  • She encourages me to follow my calling.
  • She has a passion for God.
  • I just enjoy being with her.  We don’t have to be doing anything but just together.
  • Her willingness to try new things.
  • I’m a better person with her.
  • Her smile
  • Her laugh
  • The way she leaves one top off her contact case but puts the other one on.
  • The way she says, “I love you.”
  • They way she gently reminds me of what’s really important.
  • Her laid back personality
  • Her passion to do what she feels called to do.
  • The way she is strong when I am weak and I am strong when she is weak.
  • She’s my best friend.
    Categories: Jill, John Personal | Tags: | 1 Comment

    My Prayer

    Thank you God for two beautiful babies.  Thank you for all their fingers and toes and thank you for their smiles (even though I think it is brought on by gas).  Thank you God for the way Graden opens one eye to make sure Dad is still holding him and thank you for the way Sophie holds onto my finger.   Thank you for the privilege of raising them and loving them.  Jill and I will do our best to be the parents you have called us to be.

    Thank you God for a wonderful partner in Jill.  She is strong where I am weak and loves me so much.  She is the best mom in the world and I thank you for bringing her into my life.

    Thank you God for the most beautiful step-children in the world.  They are the best big brother and sister that I could have ever hoped for and they love the twins and Noah without reservation.  I thank you for that.  I ask that you bless them in ways that boggles their imagination and also that you bless them with this feeling that I have right now.  The feeling of becoming a parent. (Just not too soon).

    Thank you God for Noah.  I thank you for his love, his trust, his innocence, and his love of life. I thank you for the way he wraps his arms around my legs to give me a hug and holds onto my finger when we are walking.  I thank you for the way he curls up in my arms when he is tired and the way he smiles at me when the door to the van slides open and he sees me.

    Lord, you have blessed me and my family in so many ways and we give you all the glory.  May we never forget where these blessings come from.  Amen

    Categories: Erica, Family, Graden Cooper, Jackson, Jill, John Personal, Noah, Sophie Grace, Twins | Leave a comment

    Hospital Trip

    Wow, what an intense couple of day’s it has been!  Yesterday, Jill had a Dr.’s appointment and he sent her straight to the hospital.  She was having contractions and the doctor wanted them stopped.  So, off we go to Huntsville Hospital and Jill gets hooked up to all the monitors.  They tried a two shots at first but it made her heart rate zoom up and so they then started another drug and actually let us go home.  When we got home, she continued to have contractions and we called the doctor back.  After waiting for 30 minutes and 3 more contractions, he sent us back to the hospital.

    They once again monitored the contractions and tried to get them to stop with little progress.  However, in the middle of the night, they started to decrease and it looks like we’re going to be able to go home today if she maintains this level of inactivity.  We have to stay until at least noon.

    Categories: Family, Graden Cooper, Jill, Sophie Grace, Twins | Leave a comment

    You Bought Jackson A WHAT!

    Jill and I had dated for a while before we let Jackson and Erica know that we were dating. We wanted to find out where this relationship was going before we involved the kids. After we let them in on the secret, it was a blast. One time, I had traveled to Childersburg and we went to pick them up from school. It was a Friday and we had to drop them off with their dad.

    Immediately after getting in the car, Jackson was parched and started begging for something to drink. I agreed to stop at a local convenience store to get us all something to drink. Jack wanted to go in with me and so I took orders from everyone else and in we go. When we got to the drink cooler, Jack asked what he could have and I said, “Anything you want.” Remember, I was trying to still make an impression and getting the kids on my side was going to be a good thing. My only requirement was he stay away from the beer coolers. (He laughed at that). Then he asked, “Can I get a Jolt?” (This is a good time to say that I didn’t know what Jolt cola is and I didn’t know that he had NOT had his ADHD medicine that day.) I said, “SURE!” He got it, I paid and he dashed out the door screaming at the top of his lungs, “John bought me a Jolt! John bought me a Jolt!” We get into the car and Jill said, “Do you know what you just did?” No. And from the back seat, I heard Erica’s voice say, “Oh God, this is going to make my dad’s eyes bleed.

    We were meeting their dad at Academy Sports and we had to wait a little so we went inside. I had to carry Jack on my shoulders to keep him close and from running all over the store.

    Many have since accused me of doing that on purpose, but I promise that I did not and it was truly an accident.

    Categories: Erica, Family, Jackson, Jill, John Personal | 1 Comment

    Jill’s Ultrasound

    We went for an ultrasound today and got to see the babies.  They are both about 3 pounds and are doing very well.  We took all the kids, Jill’s mom and dad, and the Godmother for this appointment.  It was an exciting time for all and it looks like we will be having an ultrasound every week from now on.  Please keep Jill and the babies in your prayers that they stay in longer.  They’ve still got some cooking to do and we don’t want them to come before they are ready.  I’ll be posting a photo of Sophie later and some of the video, so stay tuned.

    Categories: Erica, Family, Graden Cooper, Jackson, Jill, John Personal, Noah, Sophie Grace, Twins | Leave a comment

    My Lovely Wife

    The Most Beautiful Girl and the Luckiest Guy in the World

    I was 38 years old when Jill and I got married.  There are parts of me that wishes that I would have met her when we were younger but this is one of the instances where I can truly see God’s hand at work.  As a younger man, I was too immature to realize and to appreciate the gift of God in a wife.  So, now when I think about it I believe God got the timing is just right.  Jill is truly the most wonderful and beautiful girl who I have ever met.  When I first saw her at the camp directors meeting, she took my breath away and that year at Annual Conference I followed her around like a little puppy (others have described it as stalking).

    I was more nervous for our second date than I was for our first date.  The beginning of the first date was for me just like any other date that I had experienced, but before I knew it, we were talking and it seemed that we had known each other all of our lives.  The second date, I knew that I wanted to make an impression and so when I got to Birmingham, I had decided that I didn’t like what I was wearing and so I went to the mall to buy a whole new outfit.  I changed clothes out behind the Galleria by a dumpster.  It must have worked.

    I will never forget walking in the Cabinet Room at Camp Sumatanga to see my bride before the wedding.  She took my breath away with her beauty and I could not believe she was going to be my wife.  This was one of the only times that I found myself without words.  I just cried.

    Today (4 years later, one 2-year-old, and twins on the way) a great many things in our life have changed, even my love for Jill.  It’s now a more mature, sacrificial, and a closer love but one thing is true…I love her more today than I did yesterday and less today than I will tomorrow.

    Yes, She Did Know About the Hawaiian Shirts Before She Married Me

    On this Valentines day, I thank you for loving me, for adding so much to my life and allowing me to share your life.  I love you and thank you for being my wife.

    Categories: Family, Jill | Tags: | 4 Comments

    Jill’s Dr. Appointment

    Jill had an appointment this morning to check on the babies.  I saw an expression on the doctor’s face that I’ve only seen once before and that was when he walked in the room as she was about to have Noah and told her not to sneeze.  She has really progressed and he essentially put her to bed.  She can do some things but not much.  Walking is a NO-NO.  The doctor now wants to see her every week and next week he is going to do the 4-D Ultra-sound.  This morning we got to hear the heart beats and when the nurse was trying to get the reading on Graden, he kept kicking the wand.  He would kick it so hard that it would actually come up Jill’s stomach.  We got a laugh out of that.  I think Graden is going to be like his brothers.

    We called my Mom and Jill’s mom and we hope to get both of them up here next week for the ultra-sound.  My mom seemed really excited about it and that makes me really happy.  I told her that I would come pick her up on Monday and take her home whenever she wanted to go.  Maybe we can make that happen.

    Categories: Family, Graden Cooper, Jill, Sophie Grace | Leave a comment

    Camp Video w/Jill!!

    Cross at the Mountain Chapel

    Here is a link to a video talking about Camp and my wife Jill has a role in this.  It’s worth the time!


    Categories: Camp, Jill, Uncategorized | Tags: | 1 Comment

    My Father-In-Law

    Each year at Behold, there is a time for the youth to make a first time commitment to Jesus, renew their commitment, and/or acknowledge the ministry call that God has placed on their lives.  Tim and I were in the room where we brought the youth who felt a call to ministry.  We talked to them about different types of ministry, the different steps for becoming an elder.  After the “official time was up, we had several people who stayed and went into detail as to what they thought God was calling them.

    While most times the highlight of Behold is talking to youth and guiding them in whatever way God is leading, this year the highlight was more personal.  Jill and Hilda had gone back to the house we were staying in and I was going to ride back with Time.  As we got into the car, Tim said to me, “I really love it when you and I have the opportunity to minister together like we did tonight.”

    I don’t think he understood the impact of those words to me.  There was a sense that I had made my dad proud.  It was a special moment.  Growing up without a father, I did not have the mentorship, he guidance of a Father, the opportunity to work together with my dad and for me last night was very special.

    Dad, Jill and me at my Commission Service

    Categories: Family, Jill | 1 Comment

    My first OBGYN appointment

    I went to the Doctor with Jill on Monday. It was time for the ultrasound and I didn’t want to miss it. From the outside, it’s much the same as any other doctors office, just with a bunch of women. As we were called back and entered into the exam room, thats where there was a huge difference. Normal doctor’s office bed with sturrups. Big machine to the right with what appeard to be a 8″ probe with a condom on the end of it and a button on the machine that said depth. It was at this moment that I became so aware of my manness and so glad that Adam didn’t eat the apple first!

    The nurse enters and tells Jill to unrobe from the waist down and hands her a paper sheet! I asked Jill if she wanted me to leave the room while she changed (mainly because I was afraid they were going to hand me a paper sheet). She looked at me like I was weird and said no, you’ve seen me naked before…she had a point. Then we commenced to waiting for the doctor. Jill on the table and I pulled up a chair and we had a great tender moment. there.

    The doctor and nurse came in and did the ultrasound and we got to see the babies heart beat! It was awesome. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was looking at but Jill and the doctor showed me and then I was all about it. It was one of the coolest things I have ever done.

    The doctor said everything looked good and we could start telling people. We are so excited.

    Categories: Family, Jill, John Personal, Noah, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

    The Baby

    We had a scare the other night. She has also been having headache and night sickness. She has also not been able to sleep at night. I seem to worry all the time now. I worry about the baby. I worry about Jill. Wow, I hate not being able to say anything and I hate this time of the pregnancy when anything could go wrong.

    The other night, Jill and I went to Babies r Us and that was pretty fun. I really enjoyed that. I felt like afather.

    I am reading a great book on fathering right now and I am going to put it on my to read list when I am able to tel some people. I think Erica is beginning to have some thoughts but I don’t think she has figured it out yet, but she is a super smart girl and she will.

    Categories: Family, Jill, Noah, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

    Clothes Shopping

    Saturday morning and Jill slept in. I did some laundry and fell asleep on the couch to be awoken by Jill climbing on me. We enjoyed some moments lying around on the sofa and then I had the idea to take our wedding presents that have been stacking up in the movie room back to Belks so that we could use the money for baby stuff. We did that and got over $600.00 worth of credit back at Belks. This money will come in very handy. We have several items that will need to go back to Macy’s also. We spent the rest of the day shopping for maternaty clothes. We went to Belks, Target, Old Navy and to a shoe store. We got Jill a bunch of clothes and 3 pairs of shoes. It was a great day. We had lunch at the Craker Barrel.

    PS. Jill also let me use $200.00 of the money from returns to buy a gps unit for the car!! It’s my birthday present.

    Categories: Family, Jill, John Personal, Noah, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

    6th Day

    Today is the day that Jill would have started her period. I am busting at the seems wanting to tell people that we are preganant. I’m so exicted. I have registered for every pregnancy web-site that I can find. I am looking at dad diaper bags and strollers. I am looking at all this cool baby stuff. Who would have thought that I would be this excited.

    Jill and I talked and we are going to ask Bybo and Cathy to be the Godparents. The names we are thinking about are Sophie Grace Hill and Noah Wesley Hill. I have been shut down on Ainsely but thats okay because I love the name Sophie Grace.
    Jill has her first appointment with an OBGYN in Huntsville on Wednesday. I’m already nervous. Thoughts go through my head about what if?

    Last night we went to eat at the Rainforest Cafe in Kansas City. As we were waiting for our table, there was a toddler who had Down Syndrome. I thought to myself, how would we handle something like that? We pray for a baby that is normal, but what happens if we have a baby who has something wrong such as the Bentley’s grandbaby? It is when I get these thoughts, that I have to remember that God will provde. God will give us what we need to love and care for this baby.

    Almighty God, I’m praying a selfish prayer this morning. I pray that all goes well with the development of the child that is in my wifes stomach. I ask that your hands be wrapped around both of them and that you hold them tightly. I pray Lord that this pregnancy goes well and that Jill is healthy through it. Lord, I know that Jill and I couldn’t have done this on our own. You bring forth life. You are the Master Creator and I thank you for blessing us with this gift. Help me to grow into the dad that this baby needs. Help me to always be there with a hug, a smile. Help me to know when to kiss and when to spank. Help me to not throw up when changing diapers, but most of all Lord help me to be the Godly example this child needs. Help me be a man that when looked upon by this baby, he/she sees a man of God. Help me to always be fair and loving.

    Lord, I am so unworthy and so ill prepared for this responsibility. I need your help and your guidance. I’m reaching for you and I know you’re there. Amen

    Categories: Family, Jill, John Personal, Noah, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

    It’s Official

    We’re Pregnant! Jill and I went to Dr. Harney’s office today and they made the confirmation for us. Excited, scared, nervous, excilerated all wrapped up into one big bundle. I can’t sit still, I can’t tell anyone, I can’t keep my mind on work. All I do is think about this baby. Oh Wow.

    Categories: Family, Jill, John Personal, Noah | Leave a comment


    Jill and I have been trying to have a baby. Last night she brought home a First Response Pregnancy test. It quickly registered postiive. We hugged, cried (actually, I cried) and then talked for a long time. We looked up differnet stuff on the internet I am freaking out. I’m scared to death, I’m excited beyond belief, I’m worried about everything. But mostly just amazed that I’m going to be a dad. Now, it’s time for me to get into shape. The way that I am now is very unhealthy and I want to see my baby gow up.

    We’re playing around with names…Noah Wesley Hill and Sophie. We haven’t come up with a middle name yet for Sophie, but I like Sophie Grace.

    Categories: Family, Jill, John Personal, Noah | Tags: | Leave a comment

    1st Anniversary

    Jill and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary yesterday. 365 days of wedded bliss (at least for me). I cannot begin to fathom how much joy she has brought into my life. Now, granted it is totally different than it was before marriage, but in a so much better way. I have new responsibilities that include others rather than just myself. Praise God.

    Saturday we spent the day together. We road around everywhere (went antiquing, to sporting goods stores, bought hammocks for Nicaragua, had lunch at our “I Love Sushi” and just spent the day together. We then came home and cooked hamburgers on the grill and had a nice dinner for two watching flip this house. It was wonderful.

    Jill will never know how much I love her and care for her. May we have many anniversarys.

    Categories: Family, Jill | Leave a comment

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